L'AMOUR

The Middle Man starring Chelsie

Growing up sucks plain and simple there is nothing good that comes from it. You thought you had it bad when you were little when truth be told you had idea of half of the shit that was headed your way! Bills to pay, go to school only to end up in thousands of dollars in debt your social life becomes more twisted than a twisted sisters concert and your love life has more hills in it than a roller coaster. Nobody prepared me for all of this nobody told me that would I have myself to deal with but the people in my life would be just as insane. I can not take this part of life if everyone could just tell everything as it is be straight forward and honest that would be great. I believe in the philosophy of every man for them selves sure everyone needs someone to talk to and I am usually it but for some dumb reason I feel as though I can fix the world meanwhile I am barely able to keep my head above water! Oh well maybe one day I will learn but until that day comes ill just keep playing the part of the middle man.

Anger

Tonight I found myself really angry, this through me off guard I haven’t felt like this in a while. I am just annoyed at everything and actually want to hit something.

First off the date that I had on saturday went great and no that is not why I am angry but he came home with me spent the night nothing happened, and he left in the morning after I walked him to the bus. Told him to text me when he got home didn’t hear from him till monday and now I haven’t heard from him again. I think the thing that is making me most upset is that I am actually crazy about this guy like there are thoughts ofhim absorbing the thoughts in my head I HATE THAT!!!!!!! I hate not knowing where I stand with people or guys I like to know if I am wasting my time or not. And then I am talking to my ex who is also in toronto and he is now wondering if we dismissed something too soon and maybe he is right.

Then as if I wasn’t already mad enough i get a wrong number call only its not really a wrong number it is my asshole of an uncle who cut me out of my life, kicked me out of my house, and let his little cunt of a daughter ruin a family dont get me wrong but sheis not the only one at blame he is too.

I know that every human has emotions but I feel like mine always come crashing down on me. the best way to explain how I feel about my emotions is your having a perfect day at the beach and you are in the water just playing in the waves with your friends and then all of sudden everyone is no longer around you but  your still in the water and as you go further and further out into the water and the waves are getting big and harder and you find a sand bar to stand but your still under the water. Then this big wave the one every else has been preparing for it but not me cause I had my back turned but then all of a sudden a wave comes crashing down on me and it pulls me under and i get up struggling and I’m hit again  that’s my emotions

Dear Lord please let me have this! Tell me I haven’t messed it up already. I like him soooo much

Soo Nervous I could die

you know how when you are little you always think about what your perfect guy would be like well my guy was always an irish guy! I know I have a thing for cowboys but there was just always something about that because my family was from Ireland and I just loved that. Tonight I have a date with an irish guy actually from ireland I’m sooooo nervous